A Broken Save Me oneshot
by The Writing Beany
Summary: He was all alone; the least she could was visit him. Alex/Birkhoff friendship


A broken save me

Verse: Nikita

Genre: Angst/Hurt/Comfort

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: Alex/Birkhoff, mention of Michael/Nikita

Summary: he was all alone; the least she could do was visit him.

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><p>The stench of the prison made her stomach curl, knot and spin all at once. Division had smelt like this when she first understood where she was.<p>

But she wasn't there any more. Division was gone and Alex was no longer a pawn.

She was Alex Udinov, the reclaimed heiress to the Udinov kingdom. And she looked the part, five years ago she was a mere grunt; dressed in sweats or whatever dress Amanda had chosen for her. But now she stood almost queenly, in a dark pant suit. Her golden hair curled and lose around her shoulders. She wasn't the highly strung recruit but she wasn't so easy at forgetting now either.

Some days she was in limbo.

The clip of her expensive shoes made her winch; most days she was wearing her comfortable clothes, just being Alex whom didn't have to look over her shoulder. At least not for some one who might kill her, Nikita hadn't gotten to that point yet but then again she didn't bank on the future.

It was however her past that brought her to the prison. It was her connections that got her the visit, even when her bodyguards warned her against it. No one visited him, not even Michael and though she had been busy with rebuilding her father's name, she felt the guilt.

He was snarky, short tempered and too buzzed but he still held a place in her past and when she discovered he was really alone she felt some need to see him. Even though she knew he would scoff and tell her that she didn't mean that much to him.

"Miss" the guard was highly trained but pose no threat to her. But then again it had been so long since she needed her skills and she really wasn't here to cause any problems.

"You've been made aware that you are not to touch him, hand him anything or even answer any sensitive questions" the guard was so sure of his prisoner that she wanted to laugh. Had he not met the man she knew years ago; a pause. He didn't _know_ that man but even now he could hold no threat.

"Just call out when you ready to leave; it won't be long" the guard offers her a half smile and she hates him a little for that. No one bothered to stick around but she knew better then to take his insults at face value.

"You ain't my lawyer" she forced the smile back at his voice. She shouldn't hold any happy memories from her time spent as a mole, but she did some how forge some good ones. A handful was spent riling the resident genius up to the point he would threaten to have her bed stripped. He never would and she knew she saw that smirk linger behind his red bull.

"After all this time your still expecting them?" it wasn't banter. He was snarky and she was a natural with her attitude. There was days she entertained the idea they could have been friends.

"I wasn't _expecting _you" he scoffs folding his painfully thin arms across his equally thin chest. She winched as she sat down. It was fair he was made to suffer, he was only doing what he ordered to do. He was a good agent, even if he was working for the bad guys.

"You shouldn't be expecting anyone really! No one has visited you in over three years" she doesn't mean to be cruel and to anyone else it might make them snap but he just smirks and roll his eyes.

He won't kick her out yet because he seemed to relax.

"Little miss sunshine finally grew up them?" it wasn't really a question but the way he leaned forward she can't help but smirk and nod. There was no contact with the outside world for him.

Never for him.

"Miss Udinov now" she informs and feels a slight smile tug at her lips when he nods and seems almost impressed.

"Whatever" she openly grins at him then, knowing no matter what any one did to him they couldn't take away what he was.

"So are you here for a charity thing or is this you gloating?" he scowls and it makes her laugh because she knew if the roles were reversed he wouldn't give up a minute of gloating.

"Neither; I heard about you and I thought I would see you" she offers and fears he's about to kick her out, because for how much he loved to gloat he hated anyone's pity just as much.

"Nikita cut you loose then; probably setting up home with Michael somewhere" he snarls leaning back, a muscle in his jaw twitching.

She knew why Michael had to cut ties but she also knew how much it hurt to be left by someone you considered a friend. Also knew how much guilt welled up when you betrayed someone considered a friend.

"I cut her loose; no point in getting in the way when it's over" the dark scowl made her shift. She had hoped he had seen the truth about Division; hoped that he was smart enough in the end.

"Yeah whatever; at least you got something out of all _this" _if he was bitter then she couldn't tell if it was about her new status or over the fact she had been a helping hand in the downfall of Division.

"I didn't" she stops and glances down unsure what she didn't and did mean to do.

Bring down the monsters who stole her family and allowed her to become a sex slave; she meant that.

Watch so many innocent people get hurt: she didn't mean that.

"Whatever! I was Division after all wasn't I? Just getting off on your little revenge kick right? Just like Nikita and Michael" he scowls and she looks at him with hard eyes. It wasn't her fault but she wasn't innocent and though she knew he needed to vent at someone she didn't want it to be her because she was only trying to help.

"It was a fair sentence, considering what you can do" she accuses, daring him to deny it and from the way he smirks she knows he understand just why he got a sentence in a cell and not the death chair.

"I don't see you in chains sweetheart" he snaps and she nods in agreement. OK that was unfair for her to point out but if she said anything else he would have kicked her out.

"Why-Why did you come here any way? What could _you _do that would make me accept any of this" he demands and she sees the flare of the man she remembers. The one who would stalk between the recruits with some energy drink in his hands, demanding from them.

She remembered Birkhoff from Division.

"Nothing; but I know how it feels! I was in the same position once upon a time and I know how lonely it gets" she offers and he snorts at her. Flinging himself back he offers an air of not interested.

"Yeah! Right; whatever" he scoffs and she has to glare at him now; it was this behaviour that would leave her riled up and ready to attack.

"They stole my family from me; left me rotting with sick bastards" she snarls slamming a hand down on the table. If he was shocked he hid it so well, and that pissed her off even more.

"They used me! They used you" that was enough to get his dark eyes back to her, along with his heated glare and hate that might have been directed at her or someone else.

"They never used me; they never took anything from me sweetheart! They offered me a second chance and I snapped it up. You think I didn't know what they were really up to? How could I not know, I'm a freaking genius and I knew their secrets" he spits leaning forward.

A warning knock came from beyond the door and for a few seconds the pair glared at each other before pulling back.

"Nikita offered me an out. She cleaned me up and then offered me a chance" she declares and he laughs at her.

"When your lonely; despite those walls you put up you still want someone to reach out and offer you help, with no hidden reason. I got that" she explains and he smirks at her and tilts his head at her.

"And your here to do that? You planning on being my hero" he questions and she is shocked. She hadn't even thought of that, she only thought that she needed to see him; be it for some sick pleasure at knowing it was really over or because she felt bad she wasn't sure.

"We both know I could never be that to anyone. I'm not here to offer you anything" it hits her hard but it's the truth and from the way he slowly smiles she knows she has just passed whatever test he had set. They might not be friends but he held enough respect for her that if she had offered to help him, make his life a little more easy he would have turned her away with insults and made her hate him.

Just like Division he was testing her.

"Nothing you could offer me anyway; unless you consider a conjugal visit next then there is nothing someone like _you _could ever offer _me_" he snarls at her and for a second she felt like the Alex who was treated as a recruit by him and a weapon by Nikita.

From the smirk playing across his lips, she knew her scowl had amused him.

"You're a pig" she snapped and he held his hands up in a manner that meant he couldn't help it.

"Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out sweet cheeks" he offered and quickly studied his nails. And just like that she had been dismissed and the anger swelled up inside of her; at him, at her and for every crappy thing that ever happened in the past. She wasn't there to offer friendship, just reprieve from the lonely feeling that she had assumed had welled up with him.

Scarping her chair back, she didn't even acknowledge the flinch and with her back turned she didn't even notice that his nails no longer interested him as much as she did.

But before she could walk out for good; before the thought he can go to hell could sink in, she had to make sure he understood.

"I waited; I waited for some one to rescue me. I prayed for it each night, even through my drug haze, I prayed and when no one came that feeling of being alone crept in" she turns to look at him, pin him with her eyes and words.

"Nikita saved me, but that loneliness was already so rooted that even now, I yearn. It doesn't make me weak; it doesn't make me a victim. It makes me who I am" she explains and he just stares at her, through her and maybe she was wrong to come here. Maybe he liked being alone, being the outcast and none of it was an act.

"I didn't come here to help you, gloat or even insult you. I just wanted you to know that if anyone offers you the chance, the chance to be not so alone, take it" and with those parting words she's gone. Banging on the door and escaping from her past for good.

He might take her advice or he might not; he might be happy to rot away in that jail and she would let him.

She wasn't lying, she wasn't going to be his hero; she was just hoping that he was still innocent enough for some other hero to step up and help him.

Three months later when it was splashed across the Television News, papers and internet that he had escaped, she would only offer up a small smile. Knowing him he would have escaped just to spite people; but on the off chance that he had a little help from two old friends then she wished him all the best.

He wouldn't come looking for her, she wasn't that stupid. And she would raise her morning coffee in a toast to him, to honour his gloating, she still wished him the best because he had escaped from the last holds of Division.

The End


End file.
